“Accidental Allies?” Zombie Impacts on Climate Change Mixed, Scientists Say

By Bulletin Staff

The impact of zombies on the pace and effects of climate change is mixed, with some positive effects from reduced human activity, but also long-term negative impacts that may well outweigh any upsides from a rising undead population.

That was the message coming out of the 13th Zombie Impacts on Climate Change conference held this week in Paris. The conference drew more than 200 zombie and climate experts who presented papers highlighting the latest research into the interplay between the living environment and the undead.

In her opening statement at the outset of the conference, Dr. Barbra O’Dea, conference chair and head of the International Zombie-Climate Science Coalition, emphasized the urgent nature of the event’s subject matter and encouraged the conference participants to seek extraordinary solutions to the challenges facing the planet and humanity.

“We find ourselves in a world where the undead roam and the climate is influenced by unprecedented crises. The very existence of this conference reminds us that, even in the face of the most unusual circumstances, humanity’s thirst for knowledge is as powerful as a zombie’s hunger for brains,” O’Dea said.

Potential Upside of Zombie Armageddon

A consistent theme across many of the presentations was that, as the threat from zombies increases, human societies are likely to focus on immediate survival rather than long-term activities that contribute to greenhouse gas emissions such as industrial production and resource extraction. This could lead to a temporary reduction in carbon emissions as people prioritize personal safety over economic growth.

In addition, if population centers and infrastructure are overrun or abandoned due to the zombie threat, urbanization and deforestation could slow. As a result, a shrinking of the human-inhabited world might see a return to more natural ecosystems in areas infested by the undead, leading to greater absorption of carbon from the atmosphere.

Other potential positive impacts of a growing zombie population could include decreased travel by car and air, leading to lower carbon emissions, and the decline of energy-intensive industrial-scale agriculture and a return to smaller-scale farming, potentially reducing the carbon footprint of the food chain.

Negative Impacts of an Undead Apocalypse

However, a growing undead footprint could also lead to resource scarcity in the face of the zombie threat and societal collapse, leading to increased competition for essentials like water and food. This competition could lead to conflicts and resource wars, destabilizing regions and potentially causing additional environmental damage.

And while power plants, factories and other energy-related infrastructure might be abandoned or damaged in the chaos of a widespread zombie outbreak, this could result in environmental hazards if these facilities are not properly maintained or decommissioned in an orderly fashion.

Furthermore, while there could be short-term reductions in carbon emissions due to the chaos and fear of zombies, this is unlikely to be unsustainable in the long term. The breakdown of societies, the lack of international coordination and the loss of technological advancements could hinder humanity’s ability to address climate change effectively, with catastrophic long-term consequences.

Zombies – “Accidental Climate Allies”?

Reflecting on the conference, Dr. Sarah Ramirez, an environmental scientist from Pioneer University of Environmental Sciences in Wales, said that the growing zombie threat has forced us to reconsider the dynamics of human societies. “It highlights the fragility of both our climate and our interpersonal relations. It’s fascinating to think about how fear can alter our behavior and potentially reshape our social structures, including those related to zombies and climate change.”

Dr. Emily Chang, an ecologist at EcoGenesis Research Institute in North Dakota, noted that the undead’s impact on biodiversity and the carbon cycle remains a poorly explored subject, in no small part because of the hazards associated with zombie research. “Zombies as the latest invasive species? I’d love to see their impact on biodiversity in our next field expedition. But for now, I’ll stick to the lab,” Chang said.

The conference presentations were not without lighter moments. In his presentation, “Assessing the Impact of Undead Hordes on Global Climate Patterns,” Dr. Marcus Turner, a climate modeler with the Sydney, Australia-based Zombie Climate Modeling Consortium, quipped: “Zombies might not be great conversationalists, but they’re certainly causing a ‘cooling’ effect on carbon emissions. Who knew they’d be our accidental climate allies?”

Other papers presented at the conference included:

“The Zombie Apocalypse Effect: Analyzing the Short-Term Reduction in Greenhouse Gas Emissions during a Global Outbreak,” which examined data on greenhouse gas emissions during the initial chaos of a zombie outbreak, exploring how fear and disruption affect carbon emissions.

“Survival of the Fittest: Zombie-Induced Population Decline and Its Implications for Ecosystem Resilience and Carbon Balance,” which explored the ecological consequences of a reduced human population, including potential shifts in ecosystem dynamics and their impact on carbon cycling.

“Decomposition Dynamics of the Undead: Investigating the Role of Zombie Decomposition in Carbon Sequestration,” which delved into the decomposition process of zombies and its potential role in carbon sequestration, considering factors like microbial activity and decomposition rates.

“The Role of Zombie-Human Interactions in Habitat Restoration and Biodiversity Recovery,” which explored how the presence of zombies affects human behavior and its consequences for habitat restoration and biodiversity, potentially influencing carbon storage in natural ecosystems.

“Zombie Apocalypse and Climate Resilience: Lessons for Building a More Sustainable Post-Apocalyptic World,” which discussed strategies and lessons learned from various zombie outbreaks for building a more climate-resilient and sustainable society in the aftermath of a potential zombie apocalypse.

Note: The Bulletin of the Zombie Scientists is a work of fiction. Any names or characters, businesses or places, events or incidents, are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is entirely coincidental.