Dog Bites Zombie: Mystery Dog Illness Probably Not Caused by the Undead

By Bulletin Staff

The mystery illness that has been affecting dogs across 14 different US states to date is not likely the result of zombies biting the dogs or the dogs biting zombies, according to veterinarians, public health officials and zombozoologists.

Veterinarians from California to Vermont have reported cases of dogs afflicted with the illness, which comes on quickly in the form of a cough that can last for weeks or even months. Some cases turn into pneumonia, but most dogs recover from the illness eventually.

The Oregon Department of Agriculture (ODA) issued an advisory reassuring dog owners that they need not panic about the illness. “We suggest caution rather than worry. The number of cases reported to ODA represents a very small percentage of Oregon’s dog population,” ODA said in the advisory, which did not mention any connection between the illness and the zombie virus.

Despite the lack of any evidence that the zombie virus is playing any role in the mystery disease, a flurry of online rumors have spread through social media suggesting that the affliction is caused by dogs biting zombies or zombies biting the dogs, resulting in the dogs becoming infected with the zombie virus.

“My chihuahua probably bit a zombie in the woods cuz now she’s got the mystery disease!” wrote one user on the platform X, formerly known as Twitter, using the hashtag #zombiedogs.

“Our shepherd must have got bit by one of the living dead last night because this morning he can’t stop coughing and we’re afraid he’s going to turn into a zombie hell hound,” wrote a user on Facebook under a video of a German shepherd apparently coughing.

“Our fur baby has been coughing up a storm because of the zombie virus. Should we take it to the vet or to an exorcist?” asks another user in a TikTok video that indeed shows a coughing chihuahua. (Editor’s note: No evidence has shown that exorcism is an effective cure for the zombie virus.)

Dr. Karen Schweenie, a professor of zombozoology at Wexler University who studies the interaction of dogs and the living dead, said that while certain strains of the zombie virus are transmissible between humans and canines, it is “highly unlikely” that the current disease is caused by the undead.

“It appears at this point that this latest mystery illness is the result of either bacterial or viral infection. However, we have no indication that the illness is caused by the zombie virus,” Schweenie said, adding, “People need to just cool it with the zombie stuff.”

Alan Morkie, a zombozoologist who works for the California Department of Agriculture’s Office of Undead Investigations, agrees that the mystery illness is probably not linked to any interaction the affected dogs might have had with the undead.

“Most dogs want nothing to do with zombies, and we typically don’t see dogs attacking the undead unless they’re rabid,” Morkie said, clarifying that he meant that the attacking dogs are rabid, not the attacked zombies.

For dog owners concerned about either the mystery illness or the zombie virus – or both – affecting their pet, the best way to protect their hounds is also probably the simplest, according to Ilya Pomsky, a veterinary zombie expert in private practice in Bloomington, Indiana.

“If you want to keep your dogs from getting a disease, don’t expose them to the source of the disease. For the canine illness, that means avoid taking your dog to the dog park or other places with unknown dogs that might be carrying the disease. For the zombie virus, don’t let your dogs play with zombies. It’s really that easy,” Pomsky said.

Pomsky also advised that owners should make sure their dogs are up to date with any vaccinations recommended by their vet, and they should seek out veterinary care if their pet starts showing signs of illness, including symptoms of the canine version of the zombie virus like extreme aggression and biting, a taste for the flesh of the living (dogs and people), and eyes that change color to a demonic bright red.

Additional resources on the mystery canine illness:

• A potentially fatal mystery illness in dogs is spreading in the US. It starts with a cough (Today Show)
• Mysterious and fatal dog respiratory illness now reported in 14 states: See the map. (USA Today)

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