Category: Law Enforcement
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Administration Weighs Deploying Undead to “Purify Woke Cities”
The Trump administration is considering deploying undead from the nation’s Strategic Zombie Reserve to “purify woke cities” around the country, according to administration sources.
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Government Admits It Mistakenly Sent Healthy Woman to Undead Internment Center
The US Government admitted Friday that it had wrongly sent a healthy American woman to an undead internment camp after mistakenly identifying her as zombie-infected based on a common rash
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AI Facial Recognition Could Tag You as a Zombie, Raising Legal and Ethical Concerns
The use of AI facial recognition software to identify zombies in public spaces has sparked controversy as opponents say that the technology can misidentify living humans as undead – with potentially deadly consequences
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Wastewater Testing for Zombie Virus Leads to “Major Bust” of Underground Zombie Fighting Ring
A wastewater testing program intended to aid in the early detection of zombie virus outbreaks has helped authorities to break up an illegal underground zombie fighting ring
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Regulators Knock Conditions at Strategic Zombie Reserve’s Nevada Containment Facility
Federal inspectors from the Justice Department this week released a report critical of conditions at the Nevada Containment Facility operated as part of the nation’s Strategic Zombie Reserve, citing crowded and unsafe storage conditions for the undead kept at the site and inadequate staffing
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Feds Bust Major Illegal Zombie Smuggling Ring in Coordinated Raids across Seven States
US authorities have busted a major illegal zombie smuggling ring that was responsible for bringing more than 10,000 of the undead into the country over the past decade
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FDA Ramps up Crackdown on Fake “Zombie Cures”
The US Food and Drug Administration this week stepped up its campaign against purveyors of what the agency says are fake and ineffective treatments for zombies, announcing action against a half-dozen companies that the agency says have been promoting and selling products that purportedly slow or reverse zombification
Bulletin of the Zombie Scientists 